Mencari Katarsis

Assalamualaikum. Honestly, I think I might have gone mad this week. Or is it my mind? Or my heart? Or my feelings? I feel something wrong with myself. And I can't think straight. I can't see through. Is it good or is it bad? Is it fair or is it unfair? Is it only happening to me? Or do you feel it too?   How must I put this. I hope whatever the thing is, it would be all gone because I've wasted a few days of my life keep thinking of some shit. Shit I'm not supposed to be involved in. Shit I'm not good at. Shit I'm wasting my life upon. Shit screwed my mind (for a few days). Shit always happened. P/s : "Jika kita melalui taman-taman syurga, hirup dan kecapilah segala nikmat yang ada" - 141113

Assalamualaikum.  Suatu ketika Tuan Empunya Membidas-bidas angin dan bayu Melaga-lagakan titisan hujan Bersembunyilah hai mentari Selamat kau bukan di sini Jangan mimpi nak bertemankan rembulan malam ini Bulan sudah bertempiaran lari Malam ini kita sendiri Sunyi dan sepi. P/s : Inshaa Allah kita selamat daripada ribut dan taufan.

Assalamualaikum. I am not blind nor I am deaf I see all; I see you I hear all; I hear you But it puts me in despair realizing long after we had been bearing agony both in our hearts. I, I noticed I was shadowed by your figure that I saw none but you and I am still seeing you We were all living in denial I have no solution for this confusion adding to this burden, aren't there enough pain? Should i just stay numb? ------------- Anyway, I'm considering of deleting this blog and making a new one. Still considering. Hmmm.   P/s : aku dapat aku tarah sorang-sorang.

Smudgy; after a long time.

Assalamualaikum. It has been quite a long time since the last post. The thing is, situation was very rushed that I finally get to breath properly today. I am officially a degree student now. Will be a degree holder in 4 years, inshaa Allah. Today, I can say I had walked a distance of nearly 2km. Today, I enthusiastically met Ammar. Today, I waited for my lecturer for almost one hour but then I gave up and went back. Today, I have understood so many important things. I thought relevantly of one particular thing. I listened attentively to someone saying something. I apologised for a mistake I made. I accepted people for their feelings, characteristics and appearances. I learned the good and bad in others and in me. I realised what I practiced during my PRS ages centuries ago shaped me to be what I am today and I am proud to say, I was a peer counselor before. All experiences I gained turned out to be helping me now. I lead a satisfying life which I borrowed from Ya Rabb. ...

Assalamualaikum. Empty and uncomfortable. I realized this isn't my clan. I miss mine. P/s : Things just won't return to how it was previously, right?

Assalamualaikum. These are my perspectives. At this moment, I ignore yours. Today, I watched a great father and a great mother fell. They are my uncle and aunt and I love them. I have many questions. I'd really like you to read attentively. When you do, you know that you already have the answers. As always, these are not the only answers.   You know why Allah created us humans?   You know why Allah gave us parents? You know why Rasulullah asked us to follow his sunnah?  Allah created us humans in order to be a khalifah. A leader on the land which He created. A leader in an urge to lead himself before he is ought to be capable of leading others. Of course, he should lead to the path of success. Allah gave us parents because He wants to show a khalifah has responsibilities. Thus, he is responsible of himself and the persons who raised him to become a person. Rasulullah asked us to follow his sunnah not on the purpose of making us become like him. We can ...