Yesterday, I've had enough.

Honestly, I've been asked to do various stuff since the past six months. Many of those weren't on the previous deal signed by both parties and I can't say they were on the current deal; I haven't seen and signed any black and white confirmation deal at all. In fact, five months have passed since my so-called confirmation date. Excuses by excuses were given to me and I'm running out of patience and "Okay kak" replies.

I am totally fed up with the overlapping instructions given by different people. They are not my boss but somehow knows what he'll do. I tried to squeeze some conscience in between the instructions but they took out the common sense in me. Most of them lack the Listening Vitamin. Everyone plays the blaming game well. Lies after lies, everything seems to be hanging loosely on a single thread. So unethical. One favourite habit of the people here is using the Big Boss' name to scare staffs and workers. Coward.

"You'll be the one to connect both ends." My ex-colleague told me so before he was sent back to work in his home country. Instead, I'm slowly being sucked into the ever-enlarging blackhole that's already here long before I came. I learned my presence and position was created mainly to cover up the deception of hiring too many foreigners. Only last year they started having difficulties with their visa applications. I am merely a spare part. I have no significance for the first four months and nothing sucked more than that. Not that I have any significance now, they just have another person as the option to put a blame on. "You have both records, you should compare", "If you notice it, why didn't you say anything?", "Three growers here but it's becoming worse". Why should I be doing a manager's job? Why should I be auditing a fellow staff's report? Why must I be the one to count workers' overtime? All my answers to their questions were disregarded. Total bullshit.

As a crisis is occuring, they do best at letting something lie. In this chaos, everyone is talking about other people in their own language and everything is a mess. Deep down I wish all these lies topple down one by one in a domino arrangement with an expected rhythmic sequence.

The point I'm writing this is to remind myself that this is the last rant I'll be making about my first job. I'm sure you have a bad experience with your first job too, regardless of how small. The reasons I'm still here are almost accomplished so I'm going for a different spectrum. I'm leaving before I totally wear out. Hell I'm staying here for long.

My best wishes for you and your job. Please wish me well too.

P/s : Come as you are.