Mencari Katarsis

Assalamualaikum. It has been a while since I expressed myself on this page, literally. So yeah, I am doing good. It's semester break now and everyday at home is hectic. I accept that family is priority. I have less than five days left for this break (that is supposed to be over after 2 weeks) and that is all because of commitments.   Commitments, people! It's scary! Nothing scares you more than a commitment!  I used to have that kind of thoughts. They are still here, at times. You see, sometimes commitments chase you and all you have is to give in and work your sweat off. But sometimes too, you feel like doing something just to prove something. To yourself, mainly. Set that aside, my seniors who are very close to me just flew to Australia for their internship yesterday. I wanted to send them off so badly but I just didn't have the chance to. It's my turn on February 2017. I will make it happen. My heart is so fond to the promise that "We will go together...

A rainbow emerged after the rain. It was a very beautiful one. It has colours so vibrant that it stood out leaving the clear blue sky behind as a backdrop. This rainbow brings out light and it lit up the entire hemisphere. The spectrum of colours in the rainbow greatly respects the law of extraction. It was a colourful view to everyone's eyes. Nothing actually detained the rainbow. It must come out, eventually. It has been anticipating for the rain to stop. It has to be here after the rain. What you did not notice is the coming of this rainbow. Nobody saw it coming. Every soul was too submerged into the thought of rain and storm. The rain was surely, unexplainably terrible.   P/s : At one point, I was honestly very happy for you. To think that I could become this is an accomplishment for me.

Today is officially the last day of my fifth semester. I had my last paper which was a re-exam. I had early dinner with my bestfriend and I had done nothing productively since I got back to my room a few hours ago. Set that aside, I want to immerse myself into the thoughts of life. Precisely, my life.  I've got no words to describe what circles my mind right now. Literally speechless. I could write you thousands of words and pages of paragraphs just to explain what I feel right now. Okay. Contrary to what I wrote earlier, I am not going to write thousands of words or pages of paragraphs. Let me just be honest. I am just going to write one word and one word only. Love. Cheesy, as it may sound? It actually depends on your tone and how you say it. How beautiful and how sad everything in this world depends on how you justify it. I like to address things as subjective . It lies in between your definition. How you define things, in this context, love, may not be as similar as min...

"How can I move on, when I'm still in love with you?" I was confused, this is not love. This is not how love is supposed to be. Who says love is going to hurt? Love is supposed to heal, not adding to the wound. I reckon I don't get the love in your definition In your specification It is my intervention Now it is a clarification That this is a sacrification. This is not a love poem It is a sign of vengeance To you Within my silence.

Benarkan aku berbicara Untuk malam ini sahaja. Apabila kita dikhabarkan tentang sesuatu, Sesuatu yang berkaitan dengan cinta, Apakah reaksi paling sesuai? Benarkan aku berbicara Tentang cinta yang bagiku tidak pernah hadir Kerna tanpa sedar Benar aku jahil. Tetapi, Cinta apa yang kita perkatakan ini? Terhadap apa? Atau siapa? Mungkinkah Tuhan hadirkan cinta Melalui perbualan kita Hari-hari yang kita lalui Antara senggang masa Di celah-celah langkah Namun Cukuplah Tuhan hadirkan kau sebagai sahabat Di sebalik kata dan nasihat Biarlah terpahat Walau gurau dan senda aku terpikat Hati ini akan ku sekat. 18 Disember 2015, Seremban.

Benarkan aku berbicara Untuk malam ini sahaja. Ini malam minggu Lalu lintas hidup Malam tidak serupa malam Hingar-bingar Bertemankan bunyian. Benarkan aku berbicara Tatkala paradoks ini ku rasai Dalam keheningan malam Aku terfikir Waktu semalam kita tidak bersama Aku kehilangan kau Dalam selok-belok masa lampau Aku tercari Kau dalam sepi Andai ada esok untuk kita Mungkinkah kita bersama Meniti hari mengisi detik Seiring dalam persepsi Bukan elegi. 6 Disember 2015, Serdang.

Benarkan aku berbicara Untuk malam ini sahaja. Langkah yang kau tidak ambil awal hari itu Mula menunjukkan kesan hari ini Maka hadapilah dengan tenang dan berani, Jiwa muda. ----------- I saw the look in your eyes You were hell frightened Forgive me for this mistake We are about to commit I am diffident to ask of your favour Please be here when I lead this mistake Your presence is all that keeps me going. P/s : It's saddening when people would not give you a second chance. I truly feel everyone deserves a second chance to fix their mistake.