Mencari Katarsis

Assalamualaikum. Hello guys. I am back from the sorrow lane. I took a wrong turn but now I'm good. Yep, I can say all is good. A friend once said, "Why do you have to consider what other people think?". I guess it's a form of fear. I don't know where my soul went to be leaving me this way. Laugh at that, please. Anyways, it has been great having good friends near you when family is far from reach. You will try so hard to behave in the most understanding way towards people that are not blood related. I do, really. I'm starting not to take into account when people make me feel bad or something. We are just humans after all. Okay, so I bet as this blog has long been my personal diary, why don't I post some pictures of the Emerald Isle? Anticipate it in the next post :)

To : People in my life (with or without intention) Far did you know how much I was hurting. Despite how wrong I was or how right I supposed to be, you decided to disregard my feelings. You didn't acknowledge how hurt I was then. Or how mean you were. You were too submerged in the action of proving that I was wrong. Or proving you were right. Good news; you won. I have accumulated all those feelings, the sad ones into this heart. I know I once have a big heart but I'm afraid to be aware of how tiny it has become. I'm afraid that I'm slowly becoming a small, disregarded creature. I don't like myself now because I know I have been better. I know I have all the capabilities to grow. I know. GOD, I KNOW.  I'm fully aware of that. I have just grown too scared to move and improve because of those mistakes. Also, I might have been too dependent on many people. I don't blame you. It's so shallow of me to put a blame on you. You were just superior to me at tha

Assalamualaikum. It has been more than two weeks since I left Malaysia. I still don't know whether to be happy about it or to be sad or whatever. Ireland has been unwelcoming ever since the first day we arrived. The February weather was tremendously extreme. One moment it was sunny and the next it was raining, hailing and storming. The skin on my hand showed traces of burning due to the abnormal humidity. When the sun was out, I really felt like finishing the whole load of work. However when the weather was low, we only felt tired for doing work indoor. Yep, this is winter here. On the other hand, the place for internship is very unlikely as what I imagined. Actually, I didn't really have the time to imagine anything (due to the whole week of rushing everything before flying). Although two weeks have passed, I still have the fresh thought of every single thing happening before coming here. It happened horribly. I learnt my lessons well. Though the real project hasn't st