Mencari Katarsis

Assalamualaikum. I am writing a compulsary yearly post of 10th of July. I am now quarter a century old. Homies made a sweet celebration for me and a friend who happened to be born on July too. They spread a mat on a sandy beach, brought home-cooked food and two cakes. It was a small gathering of six equipped with lots of laughters. It was perfect. Now, serious questions about to flood in. What have I done for the past 25 years? What have I achieved? Sadly, I cannot answer those questions now. I am now unemployed, resigned from two jobs and currently just doing part-time tutoring. On top of that, I barely have any savings left. I am so afraid. I've tossed worry aside. I am genuinely afraid now. I don't know whether my plans will work out the way it's supposed to be because for the past two months, they didn't. I don't know where have I gone wrong. Oh, wait. I think I know. I wasn't ready. Was I ready? I have this feeling, an assurance that things will w

In the period of one month, I sent two resignation letters to two different companies. Never have I ever dreamed of accepting an offer and letting it go as soon as three weeks. I never regret my decision. "I didn't leave a shithole to enter another," I monologued. The situation there was undescribable. Till now, I do not know how to explain what happened to me and how I was treated there. The details are now as blurry as my view during my teary drive back home from work. They even let me leave in less than 24 hours. Yes, I'm going to write that.  After I left, a few people still called me. They ranted to me about the issues they faced everyday and how people were sacked too. Of course, they deserved it. But I didn't pick up the latest call; I just think I've had enough and I don't want to hear it anymore. Anyway, I still need to write this down here so that I remember. I'm starting to forget it as June passes by. Also, some of the motivatio