Tuesday, July 11, 2017

23

Assalamualaikum.
 
I have started writing this post exactly a month ago. The only reason I'm writing this beforehand is so that I will remember to put in whatever I want here. After all, I won't get to write as much as I want after this. I will surely make myself busy. I want to live like there's no tomorrow. 

Today is my 23rd birthday. I have never felt more alive and human than I do now. At 22, I experienced myself being insane, bold, clumsy and wise all at the same time. I am glad that I feel content now. 2017 is a year that taught me all the lessons I'll be needing in life summed up is a phrase; be wise.

My life has been great and blessed. I love my family and friends very much that I wouldn't risk doing stupid things to lose them. 

Love, in the other hand, still remains a mystery at 23. My time will ultimately come. Awaiting with patience surely doesn't kill me.

No mistakes can be undone. In order to fix one, a lot of effort is required. That's just how life goes. Worry not, weep less, head up. Keep going forward and push yourself to the limit. To your limit. Awesome it will be.

I'm still waiting for an old friend to contact me. This one is so good at running away and ditching people. Whatever you do, you cannot ditch me. I've known you too long.

P/s : I will still keep you updated with my life once in a while, Blog. Don't make that face. You're not going to let me not experience life, right?

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Aidilfitri 1438H

Love is something that can never be expressed directly from mouth to mouth. Either you feel or you experience it.

Family, along the way supplies you with endless love you can never run out of. No matter what your family condition is, remember if you still have someone to call family, act like one.

Anyway, this Aidilfitri was the kind that brought me much happiness. I don't know why but I feel content now.

I really miss some friends now. "Kalau rindu, whatsapp lah," someone said. I know they might be busy and I might be disturbing so, maybe later. I'm sending a 'Missing You' signal through telepathy. Haha.

I wish you happiness too. Whoever you are, you truly deserve a shot of joy.

"Bersyukurlah kerana mungkin kita bahagia disebabkan doa orang sekeliling," kata seorang sahabat.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

From July 10th onwards,

Assalamualaikum.

How is Ramadan going for you? Is it tiresome? Do you feel blessed? If you still find yourself stucked in between the meanings of Ramadan and contentment, don't worry. We're in the same boat, dear.

To this day, I slowly feel that I, somehow alone have to push myself to the limit. I've thoroughly understand long ago that no one is going to carry neither me nor my load. I hope the people around me feel the same but nope, they don't.

I am tired of trying to please people. I am, really. At some point, I feel so lonely here.

Therefore, from July 10th onwards, I will
1. Stop pleasing people that do not deserve my attention.
2. Look in front of me carefully before making any move.
3. Obtain my parents' blessings in whatever I decide to do in the future.
4. Talk directly but never carelessly.
5. Always open myself to subjectivity but never to any hypothetical judgment.
6. Be bolder and have a clearer standpoint.
7. Find love in every single thing I will be doing.

Friend, I hope you too, will find love in your everydays. Only by love will we see transparently. Don't be scared to move. You'll be okay, trust me.


P/s : My ignorance to underestimate love. Will I ever know?

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Venting anger

Let me vent my anger here for a while as I find this medium the most suitable now.

Profesionalisme itu dipupuk sedari fasa hidup sebagai pelajar. Itu yg dinamakan belajar. Kalau salah, belajar yg betul. Kalau betul, ambil iktibar. Kalau tak tahu, tanya. Kalau tak suka, suarakan dengan betul.

Ada cara yg betul untuk suarakan ketidakpuasan diri, pandangan dan perbezaan pendapat. Cara ini dinamakan adab. Orang yg lebih tua dan majikan kau lebih-lebih lagi mesti nak yg terbaik dalam pekerjaan. Sampai bila nak gunakan alasan "introvert"? Lapuk dah wei.

Ni sampai mak aku pun tegur aku. Mak aku risau betul pasal kerja ni. Bodoh ke aku kalau tak reti nak sound kau? Aku pun bukan tak reti sebenarnya. Aku tak suka buang masa. Ego tak boleh usik.

Aku sangat tak suka apabila prestasi aku dikaitkan dengan orang lain secara profesional. Aku tahu cara aku bekerja. Aku tak kata aku mahir sebab aku masih belajar. Sekarang prestasi aku dikaitkan dengan kau yg memang tak ambil kisah langsung pada hemat aku. Seolah-olah aku terikat dengan kau. Apa sial? Nasib baik dia bijak nak bezakan aku dengan kau.

Berubahlah. Kalau dalam fasa ni semua orang yg berpangkat lebih tinggi tegur kau, cubalah fikir apa yg kurang betul tentang diri sendiri. Rendahkan ego tu untuk faham daripada perspektif orang lain. Ni asyik nak fikir perspektif kau je. Bagi aku tindakan ni pentingkan diri lah.

Dunia macam ni lah. Semua orang nak tahu apa yg dia nak tahu je. Kau pun nak buat apa yg kau nak buat je. Kau takde pulak tanya pandangan aku.

Kecoh ah lu. Lu yg setuju dulu.

Siapa suruh ikut aku. Kau nak ikut aku kau kejar. Aku takde masa nak usung kau. Aku cepat sedar lah. Aku sedih dan sakit hati juga tetapi aku takde masa nak melayan perasaan lah. Kau bukannya pertahankan aku pun dulu.

Grow up lah wei. Welcome to the career world where no one cares about your feelings.

"You cannot expect people would do good to you if you don't even treat them good."