Monday, February 26, 2018

You have all my love

Of all the moments I had hoped to be beside you, yesterday was the strongest.

You, my best friend, are the most contented person I have ever known my entire life. I wish for serenity to surround you and grief to reside in the deepest ocean of your heart. Do not forget or even try to. It was a beautiful memory and a heartfelt presence.

I have all my love for you; anytime, any circumstances and free of charge for I know more than anything that you would definitely, undoubtedly do the same for me too.

Monday, February 12, 2018

It was just not ours in the first place.

It reminds me of the same incident that happened around this time a year ago.

I deeply hoped I won't be hearing the words that brought me fear when I picked up the phone. But no, if it's meant for you, it is meant for you.

Let us be reminded that certain things were not ours in the first place.

And this feeling I have now, to be honest, is bursting from inside. I want and need to talk to someone about it but I am not allowed to.

Therefore Ya Rabb, I depend on You and You only. Please ease our grief.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Dua hari lalu

Dua hari lalu, kau buatkan aku seakan dilambung-lambung di antara langit dan bumi. Aku seolah-olah terawang-awangan dan langsung aku terbayang-bayang dipermainkan perasaan sendiri. Namun, tidak sedikitpun kau sedar akan kesan dek kata-katamu itu. Malah, kau bangga dengan omong kosong yang kau ucap. Tanpa makna, tiada ketulusan. Pantas aku sedari bahawa aku hanyalah kekosongan yang diisi saat ruang lain sudah dipenuhi. Kini, aku mati akal memikirkan asbab perbuatanmu terhadapku.

Untuk itu, aku kembali membencimu.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018


An old friend of mine contacted me at noon.
Sang me Surat Cinta untuk Starla while playing the guitar.
Asked how I was doing after these few months not meeting each other.
Told me about an upcoming interview.
At the end of the phone call, I realized I was actually warned not to speak of others.
If someone asks, tell nothing.
Good or bad, news or no news.
Breaks me still.

Let's just remember from now on, no news is good news.