Friday, April 14, 2017

Officially a traveller

Assalamualaikum.

As I'm reaching 23, I now finally acknowledge myself as a traveller. I am a traveller of the world.

Just listing out a few countries I've been to :
- Arab Saudi (Mekah & Madinah), 2004
- Indonesia (Bukit Tinggi), 2012
- Cambodia (Pursat & Phnom Penh), 2013
- Japan (Tokyo, Kawaba, Asakusa & Shibuya), 2015
- Hong Kong (at least 2 hours of flight transit), 2017
- United Kingdom (London for 28 hours but I'll say the amazing 28 hours), 2017
- Ireland, 2017

My passport is an incredible album of my journey. Stamped somewhere in there were the moments of my life.

If the incident that I almost went to China alone for a conference in 2016 had happened, then another one would be on that list. This is another story not worth being told due to the ignorance of the educational institute.

I cannot say that I am not proud of myself for Ireland. I am proud of myself because I had the courage, took all the effort and went bravely. Despite all, I went. I am glad that I went.

I went to Ireland without having the chance to think that I can grow into a soul respected by myself. I respect myself. Finally, I know what it sounds like and I know what it means to respect your own self. I deserve what I deserve. I will work hard to deserve what I deserve. I am doing good, better and wonderful.

Thank you.

P/s : I really wish you were here with me, best friend.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Rough day for my emotions

Assalamualaikum.

It has been a while since I wrote about things happening in my surroundings. You see, I was busy living. So as I'm writing now, I'm a bit distracted from life.

It's April 12th, half past nine in the evening. I'm living with three old friends and two new friends. This is family, currently. I regard this bunch as family. I'll be back in 18 days.

You see. People can get so honest when you know them very well. When you know others well, you'll just find out the very honest side of them. And little did you realise that you're exposing your innerself to them too.

Some just ignore, disregard and reject what others think of them. I understand that is just their way but you see (again), try to be conscious. A little, at least. Take what you can, leave what you can't. It won't kill you to do so. It's stupid when others have to bear their ears and listen to the bad things people say about you and not say them to you directly because they care about you (or worried that you'll take it as an insult because they think you're selfish or retard to not be able to think or something). I realised that I don't want people to think about you that way. I love you but you see, I'm getting worn out.

I just learnt that I'm a very predictable person and easily predicted by those who know me well. To my conscience, it never crossed my mind to do bad towards others. Purposely. Never in a million years. Never to the people I know. Never to go against my belief and what I've been taught since young.

I said to myself, "Kau belum hidup, Zuriani". Things don't go smooth when you expect people would do what you do to them in return. I've seen just a small bit of "life". Back home can even be scarier. People you don't know, people you just know can break you and all the relationships you have. That is why I have to be extra careful not to take what other people say to heart. Take the good, leave out the bad. I'm still learning, you see.

If to you I look so innocent and decent, you just don't know the real me. Try me once and I'll show you.

P/s : I don't know my limit yet. Maybe my limit is when I pass out. Ya maybe.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Untuk malam ini sahaja #7

Benarkan aku berbicara
Untuk malam ini sahaja.

Kini di kejauhan
Rinduku membuku
Naluriku merayu
Cintaku menyubur
Padamu di tanah tumpah darahku.

Ruang-ruang kosong
Yang tercipta di celahan masa
Alur-alur kecewa
Yang melalui sisipan hari kita
Semakin terubat hendaknya.

Namun janganlah
Sedikitpun hujahku tidak kau endah
Hati kecilku pinta diambil kisah
Apakah sebenarnya sukar dan susah
Dari dulu kasih dan sayang kau curah
Kuharap kan kekal terserlah.


Ballyrisode, Ireland,
8 April 2017.


The Emerald Isle, as I promised

Some of the places in the pictures :
Baltimore
Ballyrisode
Bantry
Ballydehob
Three Castle Head
Crookhaven

More later.