Honestly, I have no other things to say here than my work as it involves 80% of my daily activities. Working is a great thing for me as now I have money, saving and no restriction to buy anything that I desire. I have learned the basics of mushroom growing, removing the fact that I knew nothing about this type of farming six months ago. I know I learned a lot. I know I'm capable of planting but to fulfill the sales demand, it's another thing.
I'm starting to dislike what I do daily. I fairly get a hands-on at growing because there are so many other workers that will do it for you. We don't farm like that here too. Machinery, systems and computers take over the rough jobs and basically, what I need to do is observe and monitor. I don't like observing and monitoring when I cannot have a say in the tasks.
I guess people change and I change too. I still remember that I entered this field of work with one purpose; to improve myself so that I can eventually help others in agriculture (besides some other purposes that I'd rather keep to myself). I reminded myself from time to time of that purpose. I feel doing this everyday will not get me there. This kind of job in so exclusive you cannot freely expose it to the public. Frankly, there's no training courses whatsoever and I only know of what I've been told. That's training for some here.
As a minority in my workplace, by minority I mean a local, female, Muslim, Malaysian, or should I put it as the only one, I slowly lose interests to involve in the environment where people are older. I cannot generate abundant fresh ideas like I used to. I feel like a programmed robot with this patterned routine as when a problem arouse, settle it with silence as you cannot do anything about it. Oh, and not to forget, my presence is manipulated by asking me to do other people's jobs.
Anyway, I can list a hundred more of what I dislike here but then I wouldn't even please myself. So, I've had a sudden thought to do something else. I want to be involved with the world more and have a thoughtful insight of the outside. Sitting in an air-conditioned room all day long makes me a lazier person than I already am. I'm trying my best to convince myself that rezeki is beyond my control and I strongly believe in that so one less thing to worry about.
On this 24th year of breathing, I am bracing myself to pull together the next decision for my own life. I have promises to fulfill, ideas to unfold, people to meet, places to travel and love to spare.