Friday, September 15, 2017

Untuk malam ini sahaja #9

Benarkan aku berbicara
Untuk malam ini sahaja.

Malam ini
Biarlah walau kata-kataku hanya helah untukku menyampaikan prosa
Yang aku atur susunannya agar tidakku dipersoal
Tentang kemuliaan dan hak ideaku.

Taulan,
Malam ini
Kau dan aku punya satu perasaan yang serupa
Tetapi jangan kita khuatir
Terhadap suatu baris kata yang kita bina
Lengkap bersaksikan gambaran impian dan harapan
Dalam hati-hati kita.

Malam ini
Aku suka kau dan aku masih seperti dulu
Kau masih releven dengan bicaraku
Dan aku masih mengiyakan kata-katamu
Namun kita langsung tidak tersekat pada masa lalu.

Taulan,
Malam ini
Izinkan aku mengatakan sejujurnya
Bahawa aku sudah langsung lupa tentang kegagalanku
Kerana aku lebih daripada tahu
Kau enggan memperingatkanku akan duka lalu.

P/s : Mungkin siri #10 adalah antara yang istimewa. Kita nantikan apa yang bakal jari-jemariku terjemahkan.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Do you miss me?

Assalamualaikum.

It is the 1st of September. I've presented my internship report two weeks ago, finished my internship a month ago, came back from Ireland four months ago, ended my last semester 7 months ago and it all seems like ages have passed.

Since I'm mostly alone nowadays, I have been thinking quite a lot. For instance, when have I not been thinking? I've been thinking of what I want to really do. Dozens of ideas circulate my mind till this moment. One moment I'd like to become this, the next I feel I'm incapable and suddenly I don't feel like doing anything. Should I have these uncertainties at this age? Or shouldn't I?

Once I dm-ed QJ a question that went "How do you know you wanted to do what you're doing now?". He replied "I didn't. My life is full of trials and errors."

I haven't got the chance to really put all these ideas and thoughts into words; to start holding a pen and scratch on paper. Maybe it is just me who doesn't provide myself a chance to do so. The right moment hasn't arrived, I'd say.

I want to go for a trip. Will try to make it happen in a few weeks. I need some time to go out and see the world. I think the travel fairy is calling for me. I am missing out on adventures. I can't wait to pick up my backpack and walk.

I like it when I get to see lots of people and hear lots of things from different perspectives. One thing I learned about myself these years is that I like to meet people. I would love to meet you, whoever you are.

Anyhow, how have you been doing, my friend? I wish you happiness and joy, every single day.

P/s: He has not arrived yet, I guess.

Monday, August 7, 2017

A letter to my bestfriend #4

Today is your birthday, Homie.

I have known you for a very long time. No matter what our age is and will be, minus it by 6. That's how long you've been in my life.

Personally, I deeply wish you'd be in my life forever. Before, I was someone who has low confidence and honestly, I looked up to you in gaining this much confidence to face people. You have that I-really-don't-give-a-damn mindset; I hope you practice it all the time.

Don't mind toxic people. I know you more than them. Please stay healthy. I worry about you but I know you'll keep it together. I really hope you'll eventually get rid of your insecurities. Don't be scared. You are strong enough to face this again.

I always love you, Na.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

23

Assalamualaikum.
 
I have started writing this post exactly a month ago. The only reason I'm writing this beforehand is so that I will remember to put in whatever I want here. After all, I won't get to write as much as I want after this. I will surely make myself busy. I want to live like there's no tomorrow. 

Today is my 23rd birthday. I have never felt more alive and human than I do now. At 22, I experienced myself being insane, bold, clumsy and wise all at the same time. I am glad that I feel content now. 2017 is a year that taught me all the lessons I'll be needing in life summed up is a phrase; be wise.

My life has been great and blessed. I love my family and friends very much that I wouldn't risk doing stupid things to lose them. 

Love, in the other hand, still remains a mystery at 23. My time will ultimately come. Awaiting with patience surely doesn't kill me.

No mistakes can be undone. In order to fix one, a lot of effort is required. That's just how life goes. Worry not, weep less, head up. Keep going forward and push yourself to the limit. To your limit. Awesome it will be.

I'm still waiting for an old friend to contact me. This one is so good at running away and ditching people. Whatever you do, you cannot ditch me. I've known you too long.

P/s : I will still keep you updated with my life once in a while, Blog. Don't make that face. You're not going to let me not experience life, right?